Solider in the Dark

Misunderstood.
They think I’m just sad.
They don’t understand
what happened with my dad.

A betrayal of trust;
A darkening of youth
Perspective forever changed
at the entombment of truth.

In the end, I escaped
And, oh, you did too!
If the truth was spoken aloud
now
What would you do?

Would you cower in the dark;
afraid to go outside?
Would you learn what it’s like
to always want to hide?

Don’t you ever forget me,
I’m the one that you harmed.
I’m a solider in the dark.
but don’t forget, I’m armed.

**Photo Credit “Soliders in the Dark~ Peace On Earth What Is It Worth 2012 Part Three ~.” 2012. Web. 20 Dec. 2015.

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Job

Offer all, it will be taken

Save and lose it all

Be upright and you will eat dust

Protect and be bludgeoned

 

Faithfulness, labor, trust have no place here

Job understands my sorrow

Accept misfortune

Give grace

Live, if only to die

Speak and know you will not be heard

 

Let go and fall into the arms of faith

There is nothing left but surrender

Stay Afloat

I am a survivor!
The past cannot
pull me under to drown
me in a current of pain and memories.
I stay
afloat,
buoyant and unsinkable.

 

*This poem was for the second phase of a contest where the prompt was to use a previous entry, found here:

https://nirrvanablog.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/survivor-contest-entry-prompt-you-have-6-words-to-tell-your-story/)

to create a new poem.  The directions were to use all 6 words plus the 1 word title (bold them) and create a new short poem.   To add in some fun, if you also read the italicized words (last word of each line) it creates a 3rd poem.

Thirty-Six Years –Picture Prompt contest entry

For thirty-six years I kept your secret
It formed a void
A cold hard place in my soul
I loved you though so I endured it.

For thirty-six years I pretended not to see
What you’d done to me
With your selfish needs and desires
Your uncaring spirit burned me alive.

For thirty-six years I struggled
To keep my head above water
No one understood except you
Yet you left me alone, scared and scarred.

For thirty-six years I pretended
I didn’t understand why you ran
I blamed myself and everyone around me
I punished them because I could not punish you.

No more! Your secret is told,
Shouted to the Heavens for all who will listen
I will heal and be whole again
You will rot in hell with no secrets left to tell.

Victory

Every day I get out of bed
With PTSD, this is a victory!

I shower, I dress
I don’t look like the mess
I am inside.
With PTSD, this is a victory!

I go to school, I go to work.
I do it well and without being a jerk.
With PTSD, this is a victory!

I go to public places
Sit on a bench without
Looking for faces
Wanting to hurt me.
With PTSD, this is a victory!

Sometimes
there is a trigger
Sometimes
my problems are bigger
Yet I know what to do
I assure you
I’ll push through.
With PTSD, this is a victory!

Don’t easily let people in
Don’t always push them away
Sometimes I even let them stay.
To me, with PTSD, this is a victory!

Just Ice

Killing in the name of God
This to me sounds very odd
When it’s violence that you choose
All we’ll ever do is lose
God wants us to love our neighbor
This why God sent the Savior
Time and time again we choose to hate
Our animal side we always sate
“You must believe just as I do
If not we’ll come and murder you!”
This makes no sense, it’s not God’s will
To hate and hurt, torture and kill!
You’ve got it wrong, you’re in for a surprise
Your hate will be your kind’s demise.
In the end you’ll pay the price
Inside of you, no soul, just ice.